Weekend Indigestibles III

As the Anna Nicole Smith story oozes out of the news cycle there’s a surgically enhanced void in our culture waiting to be filled and Lindsay Lohan has stepped up to the plate. Lindsay is fresh out of rehab and like a dog to it’s own vomit, has returned to the nightclub circuit.
She’s been spotted drinking in Manhattan and close on her heels is clueless enabler/sister-mother Dina Lohan. I predict Lindsay is going to be one of those serial rehabbers, who as long as they’re getting work will go off for a wee rest in the desert to satisfy the issuers of the completion bond for her latest flop.
Lindsay lacks the over-the-top personality of the late, great Anna Nicole, but her relentless drive to destroy herself will keep ET and Perez Hilton in business until someone more talented and interesting fucks up.
Speaking of which, Carol Burnett rose from the dead (she was dead, right?) and filed a copyright suit against cartoon sit-com “The Family Guy” after they used her likeness and “Charwoman” character for a stunning eighteen(!) seconds in the opening credits. The scene places Ms. Burnett in the role of a janitor in a pornographic book store and some typically “Family Guy” off-color remarks are made.
Now I’m no lawyer, but the last time I checked parody was free speech. Ms. Burnett may not approve of the way her likeness was used, but she has no control over the matter, this whole deal was hashed out almost two decades ago in Hustler Magazine vs. Falwell in 1988 which was about a decade after the last time anyone not in a nursing home cared about Carol Burnett.
Last, but not least, Angelina Jolie has adopted a three year-old Vietnamese boy and saddled him with the name “Pax Thien” which combines the Latin word for “peace” and the Vietnamese word for “sky”.
I have no doubt that Angelina’s motives are pure as the driven snow when she adopts these children, but whats the matter with the names they had in the first place? They’re people, not puppies and the contrived names rob the children of their past. And don’t get me started on people who give their children other people’s last names as first names like Madison; when there are no Madisons in the family tree.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve had another six inches of fucking snow fall last night and the driveway needs clearing. Vergie Arthur is unavailable to shovel it since she’s in the Bahamas trying to foreclose on Dannilynn or something.