THE DREGULATOR VOL. VI # 23: DOLLAR BILL, WE HARDLY KNEW YE

I knew it must mean something.
Half of the hundred-odd young people who responded to my the $17/hour video-editing gig I posted on the Craig’s List – young people with excellent, classy, formal educations — told me that in addition to their hundreds of other totally overqualified professional skills, they could all speak fluent Mandarin.
Then, suddenly, Chop! Socky!
Within minutes, the Chinese pulled the Oriental rug out from under our currency all of a sudden, and fried our collective won tons. Just, WHAM. It’s been the economic equivalent of that scene in the Bruce Lee movie “Game of Death” where nobody can believe that small wiry Asian man fan-kicks the pie out of Kareem Abdul Jabbar .
According to Bloomberg: “The dollar fell…” (read: plummeted) “…the most since September against the currencies of its six biggest trading partners after Chinese officials signaled plans to diversify the nation’s $1.43 trillion of foreign exchange reserves.
The dollar fell against all 16 of the most-active currencies, declining to the weakest versus the Canadian dollar since the end of a fixed exchange rate in 1950, a 26-year low against the pound and a 23-year low versus the Australian dollar…
….. China may `diversify out of dollar holdings.’…….”
Hell, join the club. According to MSN.com, that’s exactly what Dick Cheney did in 2006, putting between $10m and $25m of his personal assets into The American Century International Bond, a fund whose “prospectus limits dollar exposure to 25% of assets” and has “only 6% of assets in dollars.”
This strikes me as an ever so slightly unpatriotic thing to do, if you’re the Vice President of our Nation.
Maybe just a little nihilistic.
Kinda-sorta like speeding through all the red lights in Capitol Hill in a hospital zone, blasting Wagner’s Götterdämmerung out the gull-wing doors of your Krupp Panzer IV, while wearing a Sudanese blood-diamond tiara, eating a Cuban sandwich and ripping bootleg DVD’s right from the warm and bloody entrails of our own fighting men and women in the armed services.
Next thing you know, China will be moving their war-profiteering outfits to Dubai, just like Cheney did with KBR.

Oh, wait, they already are.
According to Icon Review (International Construction Review),
The China State Construction Engineering Corp. (CSCEC) “has also shown skill in tapping into the development boom sparked by United Arab Emirates (UAE) wealth… Omniyat Properties last week named CSCEC as the main contractor for its US$92m, 25-storey commercial tower, Bayswater, in Dubai.”
The article went on to discuss China’s overseas contracts providing infrastructure in countries rich in oil and mineral resources, like Angola, Nigeria and Sudan.
OK! So…..what with the Chinese gutting American currency, and getting into the overseas contracting racket of skyscrapers, petrochemicals and power generating infrastructures, as a means of looting resource-rich but destabilized underdeveloped regions…
……Um, can someone explain to me how, exactly, Dick Cheney ISN’T Chinese?
Lo, gaze before you and tremble: a winter where oil is $100 a barrel, and the dollar is a peso, and our Leaders hate and suspect you possibly even more than you hate and suspect them.
The social humiliations have already begun.
Supermodel Gisele, according to the Drudge Report, now refuses to be paid in dollars, because the American dollar is essentially like accepting an IOU in crayon from Bobby Brown, at this point.
No need to wait and pray until the black smoke of negative amortizations starts creeping over the horizon toward your house – the hot winds bloweth toward thee, American Citizen, for thou livest in an economic fire-corridor built on jittering faultlines, oil-soaked rags, and 30% credit card interest rates — an outlandish vigorish, punishable by death in decent crime families.
No amount of parking lots or strip-malls will slow the burning now. All the water has been spent. Even the seas will burn, as the off-shore rigs vomit dinosaur rot until they dry-heave nothing but magma.
The inflatable mortgages were the last bandits to hit the town. They spent their cartridges and took no prisoners. They’re just pulling off their rubber President masks and revealing themselves as just another slick, hot, barely-legal pump and dump, designed to steal taxpayer dollars by failing their way into the guaranteed federal insurance coffers. Hey! It’s the same thing ol’ Neil Bush did back in the days of the Savings & Loan scandals.
They got this game rigged pretty good, those boys.
Isn’t this aggressive privatization agenda a hoot?
Who knew that FDIC stood for “Fattening Dynastic Imperial Concubines?”
And what rough beast, what new Global Enron, slouches toward Congress, waiting to be born in the form of billion-dollar earmarks?
Learn Mandarin, fiends. I can tell you, it’s what the best minds of the next generation are doing.