In Praise of Bald Britney

If you’ve been whoring yourself to pleasant Nazis since you were a child, it would be mighty traumatic to wake up one day and realize…..Oops.
I did what?
As a jackbooted cryptofascist society, we take it personally when our slave-girls get ideas that they should belong to themselves. We feel hurt and betrayed, and lather up our puritan outrage. We grab the pitchforks and pine-clubs, and mob together for a good-old-fashioned witch-burning.
When you are being paraded through the streets and publicly humiliated – hell, why not shave your head? The tar will wash off easier…plus it’s an act of resistance.


Not the Best Head

What’s the point in donning the starve-spangled bikini and Barbie hair weeds, when they were your Nazi lapdance uniform, and you’re the new Poland?
Better to be bald like Gandhi, far away, spinning your own humble, homespun diaper.
Everyone looks ridiculous crawling around in the mud while they’re re-planting themselves.